Artwork
My Professional Journey
I was once a classical style painter and I may return to that someday. For now though, my focus is on photography and I am also delving into earthworks projects. My photographs are often edited to convey as close as possible the feeling and perception that I experienced in the space. I hope you enjoy these works from a landscape that is dear to me. I consider most of my photos to be depictions of found art.
Finding Awen
Under the trees
I struggled for so long to not be me. I pushed it away to fit expectations. The structure of my world was built around protecting the identity given. Stresses would come and erode a fragment and the bubble shrank but didn’t pop. I lost all of the foundation I had worked to maintain. I lost my Faith. I almost lost my life.
Spirit always called me. She calls me especially in the woods and among the birds. As life crumpled, I was drawn to this place, this magical wood with wondrous earth formations. The fairy whispered in my ears and pointed out the best scenes. The trees posed and the flowers fawned with the attention given to them. I explored and found gemstones, tableaus, and inspirations. I wept under the moon and explored crevices in the earth. Years spent in these woods taught me the changing of the seasons, renewed connection to spirit, and the inspiration to create again.
I discovered the glade when I was getting more and more desperate. But in that surprising space, I began to find clarity and inspiration. I started to find acceptance with myself. I acknowledged my experience. I faced those dreaded words that I had pushed back against and had to be honest with. My experience, I had to call it what it was. I had to acknowledge it for what it was. I am trans. I am non-binary. I am fluid. I am queer.
These photos came to life in a time of immense distress. They represent a space that offered me a great amount of healing and insight. I found the flow of the seasons and a renewed love of life. And significantly I found the strength to begin facing my demons and dealing with them.
There is a word in Welsh called “Awen.” The idea behind this term is “inspiration.” It connects with ancient British myth and stories of inspiration and transformation. This concept is symbolized by three points and three lines. One of the ways this symbol can be created is by following the shadows laid by the solstices on each edge and the direction of the setting sun at the equinox in the center. I meditated on this symbol often and when I found myself in the glade at one of these moments and at sunset, I would mark the shadows with a line and create an awen. I found this symbol to be such a wonderful representation of so much that I was going through. It coincided with a time of death and rebirth, renewed inspiration, transfiguration, and transformation. Most of all it represented to me a renewal of observation. This observation had me begin to play with nature and create art from it. I created art with the rocks and the land and started to renew my love for art. I had been an oil painter for so long, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. It had been too connected to my past to be able to connect to it anymore. But in earthworks art, I connected to the space and observed the changing seasons. I reinvigorated my love for Spirit as well as my love for creating art. My work evolved through this period and set me on a course that I am still very early into. But my story is a story of love for this glade and the gift of healing that she has offered me.
